The Big Secret To Dating: How To Have All The Dates You Want

Would you like to know the biggest secret to attracting all the dates you want? It's all about your attitude. If you think you can't attract dates, you won't. If you know you can, you will.

How many times have you heard the words, "There's nobody out there"? You may have listened to friends, coworkers, or even your own family, make these statements. If you are single, you might have even said them yourself. But if all the good ones are gone, what about those 110 million single Americans who are looking for someone? Couldnt there possibly be a good one in the bunch?

The secret to getting the dates you want is to forget what people say, such as, Youll never get what you want so you have to take what you can get. When you have people acting out of that limited view of the world, you have unions that are compromises.

The secret to attracting dates is to not believe that the world is a place of scarcity.

To have all the dates you want with the people you want, try the following:

1. Stay away from conversations that inevitably lead to there is no one out there.

Here is a big secret: just because that is someone elses conclusion doesnt mean it has to be yours. Look for conversations of hope and possibility that have phrases that begin with I can and I will and Im going to do everything in my power to give it my best shot.

2. Resist the message from the media.

Movie stars and models project the image that we have to look and act in a certain way. People who don't know how to find their own dates say you need to be better than you are in order to attract someone. People who are overweight, bald, past the age of 40 or 50 or 60 or more, driving a late model car, or wearing 60s polyester suits meet and fall in love every day. You can too.

3. Be aware of gathering a group of people around you who are also hopeless.

We often seek out people who feel and think as we do and then begin to believe that what we collectively say is irrefutable law. If you are hanging out with people who believe and voice the opinion that it is impossible to live your highest goals and to have a lasting relationship, you will create your reality from that view point. Make a conscious effort at finding some new friends with positive, affirming voices.

4. Pay attention to your resistance to a new belief.

Trial lawyers are aware of the phenomenon that the evidence that comes first matters more than the evidence presented later. Once jurors form a belief, that belief becomes resistant to counter evidence. If you have solidified an opinion that you cant meet someone, even the best news out there that points to the contrary will be met with skepticism.

What are some immediate activities you can do that can help flatten or erase some of the latest discouraging remarks you may have heard lately about how you cant find dates? Read inspirational books and stories about people who have triumphed. Watch movies that have a romantic theme and a happy ending. Listen to inspirational speakers who have not been swayed by defeatist slogans. Build a bank of positive examples of successful people so you can resist believing the phrase, All the good ones are gone. And then, get out of the house to meet people. Smile, talk, and be friendly.

Change your attitude and watch your life change. Get ready to date.

Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)

4 Fun Dating Ideas for Boys and Girls
Tired of going to the same place over and over again for your dates? Not to mention dishing out hundreds and hundreds of dollars to eat out at an expensive restaurant; only to have your date, say to your face that she never wants to see you again?For...

Some Sound Advice on Dating
First dates can be a stressful activity for teenagers and for divorcees who havent dated for twenty years. My personal advice on dating stems from years of experience. You have to learn from your mistakes. Everyone has to go through a first date. Of ...

Free Interracial Dating Sites
Free interracial dating sites are the right places for people who are open to dating those belonging to other races or ethnicities. Sometimes it is so that certain people have a particular interest in dating people of other race or nationality. To il...

Do You Want More Dates?
Would you like to have more dates and less sitting at home? Do you want to go out more often so you feel you have a wider choice of who you want for a mate? Do you know the way to accomplish this?There are definite strategies and plans to have more...

How To Get Off Of The Dating RollerCoaster
Ever feel like you are on the dating roller coaster and cant get off? Youve tried every online dating site there is, friends set you up, and still you never seem to get passed the first or second date. You keep trying, but the emotional investment be...

Rules of Going on A Blind Date for Men
If the world was ruled by me Teddy Shabba it would be against the law to go on a "blind date." Sadly, however, for now that is not my role in life. Yet, what I can do is lay down some ground rules for men going on blind dates.1. Make every effort pos...

Online Dating Sites Are Great If You Know Where To Go
Whoever and whatever you may be into, there is probably an adult dating website custom tailored to your tastes by now. It is one of the biggest things to hit the young and single scene in many years, as it provides a chance to check out thousands and...

Two Types of Opportunities to Attract Women
There are two kinds of opportunities to attract women; the obvious ones and the hidden ones. Situations such as blind dates, women from work or school and in some cases online dating sites can be considered obvious opportunities to attract women. Jus...

Dating For Others: Contribute As Partners
Sometimes dating can be so predictable: dinner, a late night movie, coffee, go home. Once in a while a party or two pops up, but that's the dating norm. If you and your partner are looking into dating outside the norm, you could try pulling something...

Dating Tips
Dating can be difficult for people who return to the dating circuit after a long time. However, online dating might be the answer for them. Online dating can be fun and with a little bit of preparation and understanding of online dating, you will act...